ruby's crap.

Monday, June 30, 2008

one at the private for those who know!

you know who you are!

for sofian, if you have an LJ account, let me know :).

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

it's two lousy nights in a row for me. today i realised i havent made an impact in anyone's life, enough for them to want to do something nice for me.

i always know of plans to do something for someone's birthday. great! okay! totally! i'll pitch in, will be so awesome to see the person's face.. and really it's not me asking for something to be done for me here. it's just me realising how ive never had a surprise birthday party or a gift from people other than my family and the boyfriend; all of whom are obliged to present me with at least something although i dont ask for it. (we all know how it goes.) and when i say gift, it doesnt mean money has to be spent.

i also know that although majority of my posts are either on happy notes or on an angry one, i do have upset ones too. and you know what i realised? whenever i write down something im upset about, nobody tags to tell me they sympathise/empathise with me.

my boyfriend? dont bother, he doesnt even come to my blog anymore so he would never read this.

tonight, i contemplated suicide. its one of those nights, you think of all the bad things that upset you at one go. and you really feel like maybe everyone is better off without you around.

and although i dont want to put this down for fear of reverse psychology. im pretty sure without this sentence, nobody would tag also. anyway, if there is something i can do more of so people will remember me. let me know. tell me how i can make an impact in someone's life. my boyfriend doesnt count. coz nowadays i myself dont know if i made an impact in his life or not also.

good night and dont bother trying to make me feel better if you dont genuinely want to.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

i wish i could say i was taking a break from work to put up a post but no, coz i havent even started on my work. hahahaha. aaaaaaaaaanyway.

sports training is going to reach a level i have never experienced before. well, hockey training is from 3 - 6 now. and touch training is from 6 - 9. and yes, hockey trainings are almost daily that means on tuesdays and thursdays, i am going to die.

i thought about fitness for both sports. and although my priority is touch, hockey is growing on me, and with joining the team comes responsibility for not letting the team down. while touch is more of a burst-sprint sport, hockey has lots of endurance in it. something that i havent been training for due to the nature of touch. therefore, my endurance, SUCKS.

i asked shimo what i should do and she said i shouldnt even be asking her coz i must know where my priorities lie. and then when i asked fadzly, he said, "aiya can one lah". 6 solid hours of training people. now if i only could stop snacking, SAY HELLO TO RUBY HOTSTUFF! hahahahha.

so i guess i will try my best to endure 6 hours of training although im not quite sure how to work around the nutrition. maybe buy energy drinks or something. after hockey, before touch, to recover and stuff. oh yes banana.

and touch babies, you all better come watch me play hockey! hahahahha. hopefully i dont embarrass myself or screw up like a retard. lol.

okay, now going back to work. :D.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

the baby didn't come over :(. he's sick :(. and now i have no mood to do any work :(.

Monday, June 09, 2008

I WANT A CHEEK PIERCING DAMMIT!!!!

and this one too. actually asked my mom and to my huge surprise she did not vehemently object immediately! instead she asked me to glue the metal balls to my cheeks and see how she and I like them. if after a month we're okay, it's all systems go!!

Except, if i play touch, i must join su in the plaster clan. hahaha. eh, and i so want my eyebrows pierced too lor. damn. but really, i want my cheeks pierced.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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on a side note, I found this very moving:

"and sometimes i just wonder why people do things to hurt the ones who love them dearly.
cos one day they may decide to leave
and never come back.
what's the whole point of regretting
when it's already too late.
though the loss of someone who was in your life for sucha long time will take some time to get over.
just treat it as a lesson learnt
that there was once someone
but we just took them for granted
and never learnt to appreciate them
until they leave.
sadly until they leave.
that impact is what makes us come to realisation
of how important that person is
and how comfortable we felt always having that person there for us to take advantage of
only in time of need.
let's hope it wouldn't be the same when the next person comes along."

Wise words. I hate that kind of regret, you know? The feeling that you know they were unhappy too. That they never got what they deserved. I hope to never feel that way.

chee bye! I just found out I have TWO freakin exams. sucks.

and ohhh i cant wait for tomorrooooow coz my baby's comin over! :D

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

i need to learn how to tell myself "I Am Hot" more.

Sunday, June 01, 2008

taking a short break to put up a short post!

Test on 3rd June. Only one paper, yes, but remember im not supposed to be in school anymore?

Anyway, the other day i had a revelation. Putting in effort to bond with the new people might just make graduation harder. Yet, if i don't make friends, i totally will not be able to survive school. haha. i think im going with the making friends though.

All Singapore Schools First Runner Up on saturday.. Well, it was a good fight! Just an unlucky game. Missed championship by ONE try. Score was 2 - 1! haha, i know. But I was not upset about losing because both teams fought hard, and at least we beat them before ;). 4 - 3 in the round-robins babeh. Last game was unlucky. Last night I kept thinking maybe when that girl was running past liting I should have just run after her and tell liting to get my man. but oh well, it's already over. Cant wait for the medals to come!! hehe.

Got 2 weeks of no school to finish up projects and other assignments. 3 deadlines when I get back. Wow.

okay, back to studying!