ruby's crap.

Friday, December 30, 2005

on this eve of new years eve, i met up with the original MSYC to exchange presents. im still sorry i dont have anything for zul because i was broke.

anyhoos! planned to go to newton for food and to hang out BUT, when we walked halfway, saw that it was under renovation. :s. so then we went to far east. oh but before that we actually exchanged gifts at the bus stop, how unique. hahaha.

after lunch at cahaya, we went to taka; art friends, so raudha could get her canvas. then after that we just hopped around the place looking at expensive clothes hahaha. then i had to go home. OH! before taka, we were at paragon to meet zul's girlfriend, and we went to toys r us! they were having this, buy 3 items and get the 4th item absolutely free. then you know those robot hands they have, lol, ok edward scissorhands right? RUBY ROBOTHANDS HAHAHAHAHAHA. (shut up ruby.)

speding time with the MSYCees (haha) is always fun because we're so goofy! :D and that's awesome.

ran into haha today as well :D. picture time!

at newton station

Raudha!

Zul's "drug addict".

MSYC! well minus me.

weird stare to my "lets go to the beach!" after wondering where to go since newton is closed.

that's all. :)

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Yesterday's dinner was fun! :). the games were funny but only unfortunately the "scenes from a cup" didnt have too many people coming up to give ideas. now im at home and i can think of a few things to say hahaha. some of the things they suggested so busted sia! but it was damn funny. lol. poor hannan turned up in crutches. hoho.

expected that i wouldnt get any awards but felt that it would be nice if i could get one.. now that rookie of the year is no longer possible, im aiming for either "captain's choice" or "most improved". =). will start training.. soon.. hahaha.. well a.s.a.p.

i thot the dinner was a good way of getting to know people from the opposite team. i made a few acquaintances.. like bryne, erm jani, azza (however you spell his name) and some others unfortunately i cant think of them now. hahaha. anyway i think the bond between the 2 rugby teams have upped a notch since last night and that is a good thing. =).

took an interesting quiz! hehe.

Buddhism

92%

Paganism

75%

Islam

50%

Hinduism

46%

Satanism

42%

agnosticism

29%

Christianity

25%

Judaism

25%

atheism

13%

Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)
created with QuizFarm.com

My sister got hinduism. interesting.

im just taking every chance i get to REST AT HOME. unfortunately i still have a couple of assignments to do. like that stopress newsletter thingy (oh fuck i hate the name of the paper) and i have to develop photos. omg i hope my groupmates dont read this =x. anyhoos i just have to get them developed by the time school reopens. at 2pm. luckily. hahha.

gift exchange tomorrow! and thot since im going out, might as well go to my grandma's house and get the developing done. hope i pull through what i plan.

Monday, December 26, 2005

yesterday i couldnt sleep and i wrote in my diary. haha. yes i have a diary, a place like this, but where nobody knows what i write. (a place where i can mention names freely)

i think i now know the difference between a personal diary, and a blog. a blog is like a friend, its like telling your friend how you're feeling, telling a friend what you did today. in fact it is, because all your friends come here to read. in a way, its like msn, your friends can even reply you on a tagboard.

but a diary, ahh, that one is the REAL private deal. in it is written things you dont want to tell your friend, things you will never tell anyone. in it, shows the real you. it shows if you're just a pretentious bitch being nice to everyone or if you're just a pile of broken bruises using smiles and laughter as a carapace.

anyway, i poured out everything i have been thinking of.

last night was just one of those nights where you think about all the shitty things youve ever done and just feel shitty.

after i wrote down my feelings, i did feel better.. at least, i could get to sleep. haha. after i wrote, i didnt think much about anything else.. but it only lasted a while because when i woke up today, i still thought about the rugby match.

am i obsessed or just disappointed?

anyhoos, went to get stuff today at bras basah. bought stationery for my family and then got the deco stuff for the rugby dinner. its quite sweet :). cant wait to do them proper tomorrow. just afraid of screwing up the banner. haha.

Sunday, December 25, 2005

omg im so totally having the syndromes of liking someone.

but.. i cant bring myself to say it!

that "i like _____________."

but.. it sucks man. i think the feelings arent being reciprocated coz there is someone else. but i just think. i think alot. most of the time my thoughts are crap and nobody would give 2 cents to listen to me talk.

SHIT. this is the very thing i told myself not to get involved with when i started polytechnic education.

i must say i felt a little joauels when i saw reh name there in a big, bold colourful font.

hmm. why though?

but i know i didnt keep my word enough to question. so its my fault.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

the french maid costume didnt go bad :). it went ok actually! was quite cute haha. now i cant bear to remove the lace stuck on. i want to at least take a picture first. the costume only, dont worry you dont have to face the fact of looking at me in it.

the party yesterday was fun and funny. =). marli gave out little baubles with words on it and our jerseys back with our names on it.

I got Most Optimistic. And.. im thinking its not really a good thing. coz the meaning is optimistic is "having the tendency to expect the best possible outcome or dwell on the hopeful aspects of a situation".. judging by my performance, i really think its a bad thing.

i guess i can comment here since none of the girls read my blog. well like i mentioned earlier, im still thinking alot about the game and the stupid mistakes that i made. Supi got Best Game Defence and HaHa Best Cover-up Defence. I wish i got Best Game Defence. im normally good at defence. guess i kind of screwed up, worst still in the last game! i was actually doing great on defence in the previous games. why the last game? the most important? i really dont know.. i pictured the girl running towards me and i am moving too and suddenly there is a gap for her to pass through. i didnt touch her. i really wonder why. and im wondering if i should have called for a shuffle. my communication has really gone down i think. ive been thinking about this every night since the game. seriously every, night.

fuck. talking about all that wont change anything, but im just hoping someone can tell me something that would make me feel better. so far i havent really told anyone how im feeling besides shimo but all i told her was that i still think about the game and my mistakes. so i guess im going to have to train to improve on my stamina and speed, because no matter what other rugby players say that you dont have to have speed, you have to. so that even if you let someone through, if you're fast enough, you can catch. and if someone else lets a person through, you can chase and catch. and if you breakthrough, or someone creates a gap for you, you can run towards the try-line fast without being caught. it DOES make a difference.

but time is so scarce. i already feel my holidays are slipping away although i have 1 week to go. 1 week is so short! and i would still have assignments and projects to do. NOT FORGETTING CATCHING UP WITH FRIENDS I HAVENT MET IN AGES. training mondays and thrusdays. hard to find time to relax! PLUS I NEED TO DIET. me and shimo are going to the gym every friday after school.. i guess we'll see how that goes. until then i guess i'll still mope about it. or maybe till someone offers some kind of advice.

oo i used the word "guess" alot in this post.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I
wish they could adopt me.

I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

Repost this if you believe homophobia is wrong

yesterday's shopping was fun! i bought an awesome pair of jeans for only $27 and a pair of slippers. not much i know, but i already bought 5 shirts previously (3 of which i cant really fit into =\). and then got some stuff for the christmas gift exchange.

i need teh U2 tank tops!!! but its SO hard to find a size L for the colour orange. =(. i need to go back to ps to see if they still have it coz that's the last place that i saw size L.

and i REALLY need to lose weight, dont tell me im not fat. i know im not but i can affort to lose like.. 2 or 3 kg. i hate having to suck in my stomach. or how it bulges out when i sit down. :S

you know.. i still think about the rugby match at night.. how i let the attackers through.. that caused a draw. and yep, still feel shitty about it. hmm. its been what? 12 days? and im still thinking of it before i sleep.

ARGH. a costume costs $50 to RENT. oh my GOD. some more rent only. alamak. so now.. im at a lost as to what to go as. some more the party is.. tomorrow. o_o. so i was thinking.. i'd just go down to spotlight to buy the lace and something for an apron.. then tape the lace on the black shirt and skirt i already have. then i also need black panty hose and black heels (but this i should be able to borrow my mom's) who can guess what im going as? if you know already then dont tell! :D

to end, i will leave you with a picture:

Monday, December 19, 2005

i hate not having anyone to complain to (proper) about my brother.

and i, as does everyone else im sure, am sick of ranting about his misdemeanours on my blog. i will give the person all my savings if you will kill my brother, spend all the money and not tell the police i told you to do it. or if so, tell them before i turn 18, so im still a juvenile. that's 28 march.

all interested participants please email me. thanks.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

im normal. like everyone else. i have feelings. i do get hurt.

i might smile alot but that doesnt prove anything.

TESTS. alamak.

i want to change my blogskin. lol. and i want to cut my hair! i think i have to go myself instead of with my mom as always. erm.. i already have in mind what can be done for the new blogskin. if you're expecting johnny then.. well, bingo!

yesterday i freaking embarassed myself. FUCK. lol.

je ne sais pas.

studies are going ok.. having 2 tests only allows me more time for other stuff. like, i already finished 2 chapters of mmprin and journalism each. so yea, time management is the key! oh shut up ruby. haha.

Sunday, December 11, 2005

TPIRANHAS WON THE POL-ITE GAMES!! WE ARE THE CHAMPION!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

oh my freaking god its the bestest thing ever. everything was just so awesome.
AWESOME.

i <3 TPIRANHAS.

i love my medal. :)

Monday, December 05, 2005

how many of you can say you have south african friends? (rugby girls please do not answer this question)

well I can. hhehehe.. and theyre so awesome!! so friendly and so cute. and so naughty!! hahaha.. they went up to strangers and said "vidyamahdafes" which actually means "does your mother know this fish?" HAHA. then when the people like "sorry i dont understand.." they do the action of pushing the cue stick and pool ball, and say "pool, pool" hahahaha.. funny sia. and then i learn how to say hello, how are you and im fine. its "morlo", "kun-ja-nee" and "pilay". HOORAY!

im going to miss them =(.

we went out yesterday for dinner.. it was the coolest thing please and we all just got along so well. after that they went to play pool. unfortunately, time flies- ok time flies in light years when you're having fun. soon it was time for them to catch their shuttle bus back, but they were late! and they missed it. so they had to take a public bus! which i thought should be quite an experience, and then they got to keep a bus ticket as a souvenir. yes, that one we dont use anymore unless our ezlink card has no value. and we took alot of pictures! will load them up when i find them. look for the links at the side ok!

i have 3 of their email, and i will email them soon. one of them has a cellphone, motorola razor! and she has my number. so i hope she will message me before they all leave. they're going to sentosa today. i pray it wont rain.. coz its like wet here at temasek polytechnic. and i hope they have fun. and that they will bring back a plethora of sweet memories of us. i know i will keep mine of them!

GAH I MISS THEM ALREADY. they're just so sweet. =) oh and they're so hot too ;). hehe.

Friday, December 02, 2005

The entire adrian episode has taught me a valuable lesson... NOT.

right now im in class and im hungry! so, later im going to meet raudha to look at her little ponies and to get my mp3 player fixed. well not exactly the entire thing lah its just the latch for the battery compartment. i need foodplease im hungry. i love having cocopebbles with french vanilla granola and crisps in milk. it is an absolutely HEAVENLY breakfast please. sooo nice. im having it like 4 days in a row already. but yes, im not an ingenue (HAHARAUDHA), i know i will get sick of it one day. but really its like..the taste of chocolate cereal, with the extra cirspiness of the granola clusters that taste of french vanilla! Plus the milk becomes chocolate milk because of the cocopebbles. :DDDDDD

ok so enough of my scrumptious breakfast, on tuesday during photography -which was quite fun i must say- minqi told me something that made me think, she told me this: "It's ok to bitch, but its bad to make someone hate himself". oh the righteousness.

im just wondering, when will our followup marathon be!! lets please slack around and watch movies again :D.

the only unfortunate thing is that i have like 2 assignments due soon.. and i dont really know how to go about it. but i guess coping fine.. i just have a problem with the online forum discussions because i havent been participating in them and to participate in all at one shot will be well.. time consuming. oh well i guess i STILL have to get it done.

another time then.